Lately

Already a week. I told myself I gotta stop talking about it d. I try. But once I have nothing much to do and there is no one to talk to me. His image will appear. My heart still will be pounding up and down for just image. Today, I have told myself gotta stop. End up it is even worst. He came to the office!!

I only get to peak at him through the window. Is good enough to know he is doing good with what he is doing. Everyone told me he is not worth it. I understand he really dont worth my love anymore. But I'm still not yet ready to forget everything just like that. Wanna say I being clinging or what so ever. Is just that I'm have a very heavy heart to leave everything in the past yet.

Mami,lecture me last night. Saying he already treat me like dirty but I still treat him like a god. That is wrong. I really do understand what she is telling me.

But everything is really up to me I guess. If I give up,all this I guess will be a past & does not mean anything anymore. But if I dont give up, I will end up with this clinging,moody bitch!
ARGHH~~

Lately. Actually not that lately. It have been awhile that I not sure on what to do with my life.
I have lost of direction. I'm not sure why I'm here anymore. I just holding on to that I dont want my family get worry.

I hate this feeling of being this lost & keep wishing the world end faster.