Protected

Listening to sad/healing song.

It help in expressing how I feel.

Spare tyre there is one but I wish I can treat him different.

But I cant feel love around me anymore.

Is like I'm not having any love in me.

Everything is so numb.

Just now start saving all the picture I have .

All this will be just memory.

So I wanna keep in a file like in a computer, save it.

For now I will place it deep in my head somewhere dark yet untouchable.

Till I can live,survive with it. Till then I will let my guard down.

Pain!!

The harder I laugh the more pain I have in inside.

I dont wish to let anyone know my pain,so end up I laugh.

My heart & mind are like crap!!

They really like shit,non stop thinking back.

There are few ways for me to distract myself.

Drama,work,and so far a 19 year old boy.

Everyday only hanging at FB to see his update.

Arhh.. I'm a pathetic idiotic girl!

Save me someone!! T^T

Dilemma!

Dilemma!

Whenever I'm driving home from work,my mind will fly away. Really AWAY.

So it came back to dilemma again.

Love? Miss? Hate?

Mouth saying can forget. Yet, the mind have flash back here and there. & the

worst is heart are heavy to put it down.

Came out with an idea, putting everything in a box and hiding it in deep in my mind.

Found out that the person grow in you from the deep, every little thing they do or said by that person will either kill you by what that they do & what they said.

One more fly away moment is during my shower.

Thinking in crap all of a sudden I remember I have to go for my X-ray tomorrow!

CRAP!

I'm scare!! Operation coming soon! T^T

In a month time, I will be free from my working life!

I will be free for a month, but still have to go for part time & study in next month!!

Breaking free!!

I wanna go holiday,club & beach!!

Everything end now!

Gahh~! I'm so tired. Tired of thing that I found out. To me now is no longer important. Everything I get to know now are much crap and a big liar you are.

You make it easy for me now. To stop all this goodness of mine wasted on you. So I will stop. You dont deserve to be happy in my thinking. Cause you hurt too much people around you.

So I have have come to the point of giving up. To save myself the heartache. du~~~~~ *heart is dead*

I have resign from my job. This is another too stressful thing for me. My high blood pressure went up again. = = I wanna go back to study. I wanna go somewhere far. No more staying here running circle.