Bury under a whole lots of things.

Got bury under a whole lots of things.
Assignment.Test.Presentation.
Tomorrow will be my last one and the most stress one.
Having a presentation alone first time.
Having lots of pressure on da shoulder now.

My classmate are so good in talking and presentation.
I will not give up so fast,still will try my best.
What happen tomorrow it is meant to happen.

Today,haix. Yes,I cry.
Hanson have me chase out of the class by William.
But is okay,he did said sorry.
My crying was not all about that.
Just that maybe too many things I pressure in my heart.
This was just a trigger of it.

So much better after crying,nothing matter anymore.
Forgive and forget,I'm damn good in it.
Got praise before lei. ^^

To Joyee,everything will be fine.
Don't worry ya!

To my friend.
Jia you in presentation and final.

Sign off,
Jess

Heartbroken

Lately been extremely down,due to lotsa of reason.
Reason that I may not say cause it will be stupid in the end.
Baby hui ask me don't always so moody.
I hope not to too.
Is myself and people beside me.

It is just sad,
I'm just invisible to them,I am there but just not there.
What the hell,I still going on with it like that with all the fakeness with me.
I hate putting on something that is not real for me.
I'm in a negative mood now,though is not all bad today.
Did at least get some jokes and play from the guys.

Is having friends this tiring?
You care too much,and in return you get your heartbreak.
You care less,you worry that in return that is what you will be getting.
It is a tough world around here.

Maybe,sometime i should just protect my heart more,
rather than keep breaking it.

Just plain sad me,
Jess

Put the blame on me~!

Being very down lately though of not showing it,

it still seem to crawl back into some part my heart.

Letting it go but seem I think too much.

Myself is the master mind of all this.

So blame on others but me~!

Is this right?

Long Long Post

I gotta a feeling this will be a long post,but I still will post it.haha,you have the choice to read or just skip.

Sunday I have sushi @ funa zushi. 15 of us,and one of them is a brother (in term of buddha hood,we call someone.) he gave a small session of dhama,is about suffering. As every buddhist will learn that coming to earth we have two important feeling,happy,suffer. The world can be a very happy place so a place that have suffering. Every human in this world will have this feel no matter what religion are you. This topic got me thinking alot,a new way to see things.

We suffer is all cause of our mind,the mind is a magician.Can change everything and do alot of thing.The mind is wonderful thing if we use it in the right way. Brother have taught us how to reduce the suffering with some method,I'm still working on it.haha.

A few thing that hit me is,he told us we have to take charge of our life (something that I cant do),
don't be scare of being alone,being alone is a good thing but not loneliness (something that I cant even dare to do),smile and be happy cause I'm still here breathing everyday (something I have forget),never wait to do thing later,but start doing it now no one will know when is our last day (something I never dare to do again), be brave in life embrace everything (something that I'm too chicken to do so).

Now I only get to know that is so many thing that I am not doing,I find my life that I have live was meaningless. Nothing have been done,just the selfish me and me~!

This all have to change cause I only have this time to live.I will and wanna live to the fullness and have a different view of life,the beautiful side of it. Be positive and the world will be beautiful and life will be beautiful.

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I got my result today,so I put on my new feeling.
I'm satisfy with my result and I'm grateful to you-know-who have help me alot.
No sadness,but just accept it with open heart.
Will try again next time.
3 more strikes to go.I will try to do so.

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Life.Love.Light.

Sign off,
Jess

Lotsa Lotsa~

Lately like lotsa of thing happen.
With family mostly,lucky never plus friends.haha.
Is all sad stuff that I dont wish to say anymore,wait till I'm in the mood.
Studies also is in deep shit.
Lotsa of stoppage,have to get over it to get to the other side.
I just have to be a lil hardworking I guess, ^^

Lately I think,is I think I like grow up d.
Lotsa of stuff is seen in a different way,no longer the small lil girl anymore.
Know lotsa of stuff and how to handle things.
A small part of me don't wish to grow up.
I still wish to be a lil girl that have no trouble,just pure fun all the time.
Always will hope to be mummy and daddy lil girl.
Imma badly pamper girl by almost everyone.
Don't hate me cause you aint me. ^^
Love ya all.

Sign off,
Jess