Arigato~~!!

Yiii~~ Extremely happy today~

I like feel to the sky like that.

Whole day get to chat with dear without waiting too long for his reply.

Is very nice for now that he have the time to chat with me.

Then today,dear purposely came into PKFZ to pick me!!

I told him Wei Kiat today will be very late & I have nothing much to do anymore.

So after that I asked him can come pick me anot.

He really really did it!!

Ahhhh~~~!! ♥♥

Then went home to bath & go dinner at Face to Face at BT.

After that we went movie.

-Just call me nobody-

Kinda boring movie. * Yawn*

Dear & me watch till wanna sleep.

Thank you very much!!

151th Memories

So what we have today is~~ ta-ta-da!!

Work!! Haix!!

So bored. Everyday also doing the same thing.

o(╥﹏╥)o

Busy busy sundae~~

Oohaiyo again~

Lately me love to blog! Why,I also dont know.

Wahaha~ Maybe cause I'm free.

So lets see today story.

Morning when over to Tzu Chi to help out in sticking grain on the red packet,

that red packet is like a blessing from Master Cheng Yen.

After going there for the second time,I do understand what they are doing.

All the good deeds they are doing really helps people around the world.

Though not much for me to do for now,but I still will go over to helps if is needed.

I kinda like dear holding my hand walking round town.

It felt nice & comfortable.

People at Tzu Chi also starting to name me as Ah Keat's girlfriends.

Hehe~ Happy?? Yes I'm!!

So after helping out,dear bring me along to eat bak ku teh with his friends.

Hehe~~ Me craving for that very long ago,at last get to eat.

Ngek ngek.

So after a fruity morning & noon.

I still have to leave my dear side~ o(╥﹏╥)o

Because he got appointment with his brother for watch a game at KL.

So I gotta go home and grow mushroom.

Around 7pm, Hehe, dear text-ed me~ xp

Happy!! So text text text,suddenly a miss call~

Guess who is it??!??!?!

Still gotta say,he lazy to text d or maybe going to out of credit d.

So I called him back, talk talk talk & crap crap crap!!

Hehe~ Can you feel the love around me??

Can right?

I hope my little love with spin around you too~

Remember hor~ I ♥ you too~!!

Eating machine

Extremely sleepy now~

Woke up 8am in the morning just to go get clothes for the handicap kids.

That event also took half day~

Then went lunch with mami & wait for jie coming back from KL.

After that we go over to mami's friends house then go tea again.

Hoho~~

Seriously today I'm like a eating machine~

After the tea time,I wash my babe.

Then bath & go dinner again~!

Then we all send jie go back to KL.

At first plan to go drink tea with mami's friends but now end up on the bed.

Haha.

Busy & happy~!!

Busy busy~~

Today answer phone non stop!!

Customer keep calling me asking about their container.

So today dear called me up at the morning~~

Yahooo~~ So very happy!!

Got a very nice talk then just now also just call dear to talk to him.

Hehe~ really like to talk to him.

Making him happy is the most important thing to me.

SAD~~~

Haix... Lately dear being extremely weird.

Like don't like to talk to me anymore.

Or maybe I did something wrong??

No longer sure.

Make me damn no mood.

Haix.. so very the down now~!!!

What's up!!

Oohaiyo!!

Well well,lets see what is up today!!

My billing almost done.

Never get to bug around my dear.

Facebooking most of the time.

Ah~~ the worst one!!

Another case of me overlook!!! o(╥﹏╥)o

Really cant take myself anymore!!

Wendy said: 'No worry,I will make magic!!'

Haha~ she's Ms David Copperfield!!

Still not sure what type of magic she will use on me.

Start to get bored with my job.

Maybe because of this that why I keep on having mistake??

Not sure myself,but as dear told me.

Work first if really can't only re-decide on what is the next move.

*Think think*

( *｀ω´)

Plans & Secrets!

Haiyo yo~~

Today is a holiday but I'm so bored~~

Haix updated the new Explorer but cant publish my post,sad.

So now end up with google chrome,it is something like the new Explorer.

Me still in WIP of figuring out this new window. Xp

So lately I'm being weird.

My emotion is like wave,up & down non stop.

Even dear also start to say me being weird.

But I just can't help it,me is always like this.

*Secret*

For the past past few night,I always dream of getting marry with Andy.

Hahaha~ I'm over joy to have this dream,there is a bad part & good part.

Well around 80% wishing it will happen. ^_^ Yet other part worry to die if, If there is anything happen. *Praying hard we will be well* Cause I do really love him.

End up now I have no gut to think about it anymore.

Anyhow, I just want to enjoy now & the time I have with him cause for now, he is all I want for now.

And I will let faith work its way on us. Hehe.

So for the next coming plans are!

Ta-da~

ﾟﾟº Evelyn's birthday coming up on this Sunday,12th of December. Still planing to go dinner anot.

ﾟﾟº Going on a my family trip on christmas,this trip I will be away from 23th to 26th of December.This also maybe giving dear time to miss me?!?! Haha~ never know right? ╮(╯_╰)╭

ﾟﾟº Then it will be my grandma birthday,which me & dear planing to make the relationship official by then we will be in the state of 5 months.

ﾟﾟº Chinese New Year!!! Woohoo~ The day I have been waiting for. As for this day,plan is still TBC.

No longer Sure

Not sure what can be say or ask anymore.

I don't feel like talk to anyone anymore.

In fact I havent been talking much to anymore beside myself.

Not sure what s wrong with me yet but I think I will recover soon.

Cause I need to do it fast,I aint like what I am now.

Story for Today

I'm freaking sad today~
Got a message from Eve saying I talk bad about her.
After getting the message I called her but she rejected my call.
In the end I was not the one who say those things.
I don't even get a sorry.
It does even mean anything to me anymore.
Cause after how she said things to me I'm just speechless.

Things have done will not be able to turn back. This I learn it the hard way.
So I try my very best to talk Eve out of things she plan to do will lead her to this road of mine.
But she always never get it in. I'm almost giving up on her,my limit have reach.
She is a big girl to think for herself, nothing more to say.






Another part of my life which will not stop till I say stop.

That will be my work.
Is like everyday also this busy.
Plus I gotta put up with a crazy biatch at work,more tired than ever.
As time goes by,she is really be a biatch.
Non stop with her freaking bad mouth & with somemore a baby in the tummy. >_<''





Partner for life!

Am not sure did I change anot??
Becoming into a monster of not bothering my friends,or is just me being always like this.
This I'm not sure. But I did not mean to dump my friend over my boyfriend or my works.
Sometime, just one side of the weight is heavier than the other side.
I'm & will do try my very best to find a way within myself to balance it up.
I know my peeps have been standing by me for the past 2 years
& will do be with me for the many years to come.
We go through alot of rains & sun together~

Please don't get sad if I did not call ya.
Though I did not but you will always be with me in my heart.
Love ya kau kau~

Stable!!

Lately me & dear more and more stable jor.
We start to talk crap and well stuff.
Slowly as time goes by, I slowly found out that he really sayang me.
So for now I can count as well taken care of. xp

Sometime I will do feel that I'm not important to him,
then I will get angry but in the end when I come to my senses.
I realise I'm be the stupid one. (-.-)''

Lately also don't know why very miss Xi,
thought nothing much to say but head will have her shadow.
haha~ I think I 'm in love with her too d.xp

142th stop

Haiyoo~yoo~ Today I'm really crazy!!
Don't know what happen to me!!!
My head is all full of dear only!!
I so wanna hug him,kiss him, & want him to be beside me.

To me I really wanna be with him 24/7 if there is a chance.
Yet I know is no way de.
I just cant wait till wednesday!!
I'm praying extremely hard that I will have the whole day with him.
>_<'''

*******************************

Just today I told mami,is it okay for me to go back to study??
She told me is okay with her but I still will only decide till I pass my QS.
Which I suck kau kau in it!!
Lucky Xi said she can help me in it.. hoho!!

So the first plan is to pass my QS then only I will have to dig my head in thinking,
to go back to school or stay in working.

Yesterday & Today!

So last night gotta meet up with my peeps~!!
Woohoo~ it is fun to meet up with them but not someone I guess.
Haha~We said is helping her to celebrate birthday but the truth is not.
Hoho~

Is nice once in awhile see my peeps.
Gotta find more time for them~
=3

So there is something on my mind after yesterday hearing to what xi said. She will be mostly going back to study, yet me; I'm still blur. I'm not sure will I be going back. Part of me doesnt really feel like studying cause I know how sucks I'm,yet a part of me wanna still enjoy the study life again. If I choose to go back what will happen to me and Andy?? Haix..

Is breaking my brain into pieces.
I havent plan to tell dear anything about it yet.
Cause I,myself also not sure what I can do.
>_<'''

So today was a very bored Sunday!!
Waking up early due to the noise from my cousin room!! Ishh!!
7am in the morning I got waken up for that!!
So forcing myself back to sleep till around 9am.
Lay in bed as normal till almost noon!! xp

Breakfast-not that happy cause of parent small fight.
Went Giant to get pendrive! =3
Watched movie & online in room!
Then to Jusco to repair Jo watch end up spend money again!

Coming new year me got alot of clothes..
Gosh if mami see them I worry she will faint!!
Hahaha~

But me still thinking to get that DP bag that I love very much?!?!?!?!?
>_<'' xp

Cheers!!

Yeah~ Totally glad that things have been sorted out~!
Total friend again now~ xp
Me know there is things I did that have hurt people around me.
But what have been done I cant change anything but say sorry.
Anyway,damn happy for now things have been done.

Sorry

It have been 5 days,after saying sorry till now no reply.
Been so many years friend cause of this trip,she aint talking to me.
Haix, out of idea on what to do.

I'm sorry that all I can say.

5th nov

First of all happy holiday all~~
Though is holiday still have to wake up in the morning to go breakfast with parents.
So waited for DD from yoga,but never get news from him,
so end up we 4 girls,mami,eve,sher & me decided to go without him. xp
We plan to go Oldtown.

FML my sweetie got hit on the butt!!
Fuck that car really badly~!! Hit my sweetie d still flee!!
Now sweetie's butt is with scars~~ *heartbroken*
I got your car plate number stupid car!!
But mami dont allow us to do anything. T^T
Then when we plan to go to others place to eat cause Oldtown is full,
the neighbour aunty open the car door and hit my sweetie again!!!
*burst* by that time if not cause of mami is beisde me I going to show her my finger!!
Still dare to turn over and smile at me!! Arhhh!! Damn!!

Fuuu~~~ *breath in & out*

Lucky thing is I get to go out with dear~
Yii~ ♥
I know dear will love to stay home to sleep on holiday~
But he still came out with me for movie~ ^^
We watch MegaMind.
Well is funny but abit childish =.=, we are like two big kid go watch cartoon~ xp




So after the movie,we went over to BT, K3K, for lunch.
After that we went over to one of the India uncle house for a visit.
Hee-hee~ the uncle is funny, keep making fun of dear!
Then for the first time,dear let me hang around his house for around an hours.
Though we just sit talk abit and watch TV it was comfii enough.

Falling deeper n deeper d!!
I don't want and will not want to let you go,Andy Lim!!
Hee-hee.

Life.Understanding.

At last,I told him some of my thinking about this relationshp we have.
I sure hope he does understand.

Well,lets start about me.
Today at office free till shaking leg and only on facebook and msn.
After so long at last I got a chance to breathe.
=)

So the coming event of the month will be~
ta da~ Kimmy birthday!! Woohoo!!
Just got her present just now,hope she will love it.
Sweetie said will try to go with me on saturday,
but he also have dinner with customer. ><
So busy! So my back up plan will be I drive down.

The best part of this party is I get to meet back my long friend~!
Miss them all badly!!

I want to be..

For the pass few days,I have been very weird. I'm having double feeling.
When I hear he got his claim I was very happy more happy than himself.
When his birthday coming I have been more exticed than himself.
When I got to know he got nagging,I was more stress than himself.
I'm guessing I'm falling for him slowly,by knowing how he feel.

I'm very happy that I found him.
Sometime things just don't go my way,but I will still try my best to accept.
It seem we are almost alike person but yet different.
We like and want thing that are almost alike,
but yet the character is not the same.

We both have the past on the past of us,
never one it to come back cause it does nothing.
I have this small dream and hope about me sharing my future with him.
But I never held it too high cause things always come unexpected.
Though it will be in my heart.

It is almost two month,there is many talk,dating and moving.
Yet I still wish for more,I'm a greedy girl. =3
It is just the feeling of being around him make me feel all,
safe,butterfly around and lovey dovey.

I hope I can give him the same feeling.
I want to be the one beside him through thin and thick.
I want to be the one to listen to him when he needed someone to listen.
I want to be the one who give him shoulder to cry on.
I want to be the one who give him comfort.
I want to be the one who bring him a smile that can at last for the day.
I want to be the one who he think of during day dreaming.
I want to be that one person!

Yeppie~!!

Ugh~ Me and Xi desperately wanna go holiday~!
Life became so boring only work and sleep.
Really dang no life~!!

I have been longing for holiday since like I dont even remember when.
I really hope I get to go holiday with him,
but I'm not putting high hope as I know how much he love his work,
and he will not just simply take leave.
So gotta ask him is he on.

I just found out,if a guy don't tell them they love you after a month of being together is normal.
If he can fall for u so fast,also mean he can fall out of love very fast.
So now I'm going to use this prospect to see him.

I will wait for him to really mean and tell me he love me.
Hoho~

I'm really happy of one thing for sure,is that he allow me to tell my family about us.
Yesterday when we coming home from our date,he said,
' Got chance then you tell your gradma lor'
Woohoo!!

Now I waiting for maybe there is a family gathering,
then just ask him come out and tell them,
cause I haven officially bring him home yet as a BF.
So I think is a good thing if I do so,rather than just use my mouth to say.

Hope,pray things go well,very well we us!
:P

Lovey dovey of mine after so long!

Things is really nice for now!
After the stop complainting and thinking too much.
But never stop thinking of him,.:P

He will call everyday at least one time. Good enough for me.
He will bring me out if he have the time.Yeah me~!
He will bring me to places I say I want to go! Double Yeah!

Something that I havent really get of my mind is,
went to bring him home,as an official boyfriend.
This part is headache~!

For now really love him,till really wanna bring him home.
But other part of me will say 'slow down,slow down!'
Tsk tsk me~

Anyhow,really happy;
for the past tuesday he bring me go SS2 to have my favorite tong sui~!
Yum yum~ and too
get to met up with Xi and Ray is nice.
Catch up catch up~ hoho.

Few things which I'm excite for ;
Tomorrow date at Sunway.
His birthday with a big surprise.
Kim's birthday party (dont know what to get her yet)
His answer for my family trip (which I not giving any high hope)

Ex Vs Now

What happen when one of your ex said he want to get back with you??
After the break you did ask to get back together but his answer is no,
at that time your heart have already again torn into pieces.
The hurt is still there after all that happen.

For now I'm very happy with my beau,
I really hope he never said that and just let everything be in the dark.
We have been texting each other whole day~
I cant break the news to him that I have a beau.
I worry it hurt him,I know the pain,so I dont wish I do that hurt to him.
But people will also say you have to let him go.
I am not holding him back cause of me,
I never say i love him. I text him as a friend.

But this will get messy as i can say.
I haven't break news to my beau yet.
Cause I roughly will know his reaction,
'Oh,up to you to see who you want to be with.'
Haix,plus telling him also is useless.
He will not have the time to make me feel all lovey dovey.

So for now,this case will be till here which,
I will not tell anyone of them their present in my life.

I do feel sorry for Mr.A.
Cause of the old hurt and scar he given me,
it have make me strong and made me give up on him and move on.
During the time we text each,he always ask me to get someone new.
Now I do and did,he came along and telling me he still love me.

confuss~!

Diet!

I start my diet since I was about 18,by that time was like about 85kg.
Then I loss till about 70kg and gain back 5kg due to bad maintaince. :P
So the journey stop for about a year.
Till this year 2010,I try to loss weight again.
This time I get to go till 73kg.
Then I started working, I drop even more.
Within 3 month I loss around 8 kg.
All my hard work~!!

So now (ngek ngek) about 67 kg d~!
Yeah~!! I will have to try to go even more.
Till I loss my fat tummy!!
Then clothes and mall beware of Jesslyn~!!
=3 really happy!!

Gambateh for myself !!

Gotta keep my head out of love for a bit.
I don't really just wanna have love in my life.
Though sure everything have its ups and downs,
all I can do is pray damn hard that things can be fine.

So lately got to go to FZ (new company) for being bangla worker.
Yea,stopped dad company and go be bangla for a week!
Damn freakin stress week for that,
so many thing to learn, yet so little time. Got sunburn badly! T.T
But for now is better I have been in the office for about 2 weeks.

Loaded with lotsa paperwork which is like coming non stop, is insane in the office.
So far I did alot of mistake but lucky is just small one.
Like mami said: gotta learn from your mistake!

So today,have lunch with a senior, Eugene.
Never know he was so handsome in formal clothes.
Aww~ I really love guys in formal clothes and leather shoes~!

Anyway,life still goes on for me even with things I have anot.
Will do try my best in everythings!
Gambateh~!! :3

Good.

Well don't know why I will have a weird feeling whole day after giving him a stupid call.
It worry me that I'm a burden to him,which I really hope I'm not one.
So after work I try calling him to check so,he seem fine so hope is really okay.
I should trust him right?
ause for 2 years he never find till any girl and now he got me,
I should trust that there is no others out there for now.

I have already plan for wednesday to have a small talk with him,
then only we go for movie.

Lost.Confuse.

How should this road end up with? Will it end up with the one I hope for or the one which I don't even wanna think about it? I really trust you like no others. I don't wanna force you to do things which you don't feel like doing. In short is I don't want to make too much changes in your life but just maybe add me in your life.

I know from the start you have already told me about that you will not have time for me,cause work is important to you now. Yes,I understand,it is cause your time for working is important. But I still hope that you can know what I want. But I till now still don't have the guts to tell you anything about it,only comprehension with you. I'm really sad when ever I hope you can just maybe spend a little bit more time with me it will end up spending lesser than that.

As you told me you're a person of actions not words,but as for a girl sometime words just means something. There is not a need of saying it everyday,but once in a while will be nice. As I went for advise, my sister all told me,we are just entering the relationship so is abit too fast if he say he love me. Even is not saying that,once in a while when you really miss me can just text. But it never happen.

I really don't put too much feeling in it and also not hoping much. All I can do is just maybe follow your foot step,but I worry it is just going no way.

I'm so lost,I no longer know where we stand or is from the beginning I already don't know where we stand.

I hope I can tell you all this. But I worry this burden you which I don't hope so,with all the problem you have already in hand.

End up I chose to write it here where you will never get to see it or know it.

Dont get you?!?!

I dont get you by how you want this go~
I dont think I actually get you yet.
Maybe we are going too fast.
I'm really lost now,what are we??
Does normal couple meet once a week,and for 2 hour only?
Some abnormal relationship ya,but is ours abnormal?
I dont get it and you..

Fuck you.Die~!

Okay lately mood really not that good~!!
Is like wave going ups and downs which I'm totally hating it now~!!

For the last few days I got so damn mad with A-biatch who crapping using her big mouth and not using her brain!!
Really fuck her for want to find topic to talk to my best friend. She really piss me off alot. For all my life she is the only girl that have ever make me this mad and hate her~!! Gosh~!!
Where is the stop button for her???

Crapping about people is girl thing I know but not infornt of people best friend and not those crap,that is so off the line call a friend cheap~! As I recall even though I dislike you alot I never use that word for you. Cause that word is a very bad word to use for any girls~!! So fuck you for using it on me,and which I wanna return it to you~! Thank you very much~!!

You are such a good actor! Who can act all buddy buddy with me after what you say. Thinking only you yourself can find love and people like me cant get and have to crap about me. This is the max limit of me~! I'm kinda glad that I dont really put you in my life~! Cause you will be the ruiner for everything! Go crap everything you want in your blog,thinking you are all goodie goodie,like you're flawless. Fuck you okay,dont have to act inccoent at all cause you're not one,and go have a fucking make over! Cause you need one~!!

Okay~ I feel sooooo much better after that!! hmpt..
After i telling my mum saying she say i cheap,guess what she said..
No need to guess la,I tell you.
She say if you're not one people will not say that~! WTF
Even my mum think I'm like this,really fine~!! I'm a cheap girl~!

Really dont understand,sometime I just wish to die~!!
Let me die,I have enough all this crap in my life~! Seriously,who ever wanna kill me pls come now~~

But before I die I wanna tell some poeple some things.
Xi you're my best friend ever~! So please dont go betray me~!
Andy,I really really love you~!
after that I so can die~!

The start of the journey!

Today will be the start of the new journey I will be having.

This will not change much due to I think that is not a need.

No freedom is taken but just the same one.

Only extra ear to listen and mouth to talk to.

This time will be different~!

Will do everything in a new and natural way.

This will be the whole new start of the journey~!

My feeling

3 weeks d. Really fast but also slow. We know each other for 3 weeks d.
He is being really like the weather,being cold and hot, and I getting affect by that.
I got a feeling I'm like magnet to him,but not the obvious type.

I told William about him,and the things he did and he told me,
yes there is something a little bit more than friend for us.
He said, if a guy don't have feel will not do so much things.
But when I told mum,she say I think too much and misinterpret people meaning.
She said I think too much. True maybe I do.

But as William said,the guy have to make the first move cause is for the guy.
So I have to wait and see. That is what I'm doing but it will take time that all I can say.

Almost everytime I promise myself not to disturb him for the day,
I did keep my promise but he have too come along to give me a call,
asking me how am I and make me go all crazy after that.
It is crazy!

Today he did something more crazy for me,is when he is in a bad mood he will find me.
Gosh!! That mean what?? Find me for comfort??
Once in a while he will make the tired sound and kinda like manja sound,
like want me to sayang him. Hehe. But maybe is I think too much, it also can be I'm disturbing him.

Haix,in a way this thing going on is disppointed and also freaking crazy and happy for me.
Once again I get to feel to love someone again.
Once again I get to feel that hurt again.
Once again I get to feel butterfly in my tummy again.
Once again I get to feel heartbroken again.
Once again I get to feel that someone care for me again.

Try my best to be positive.
Try my best not to repeat the same old mistake.
Try my best to be myself.
Try my best to wait.
Try my best to love someone with freedom.

Btw,wednesday we going to have a small date,going to I-City.
Then friday again other semi-date.
^^ kinda looking very forward to it!

Bless his mum!!
Hope things goes well!!

Bless me too!!

Two!

Hoho..we two now are now very good.
My good is like good friend good.
But well still miss J,
still have the shocking feeling when ever I see him.
Well awhile more I will be fine I guess.
Since Imma enjoying myself being and talking with Y.

Xoxo,
Jess

Crazy!

I know I'm not suppose to say anything bad about you.
But sometime you just get to my nervous!!!
Why cant you just process things you going to say out???
That is one of the reason why I hate myself cause I have this from you!!
It damn hurt people feeling!!

Should have not blame people for thing you have decided.
And just pushing all things you said before like you never said any!!
God damn,i'm going crazy!!

Buddy buddy!!

My intrpretion is always suck so I'm not sure is it right.
But I will like my mind to maintain us as buddy buddy.
Is abit weird that so fast he asked me for movie. ><
But still buddy buddy...

Xoxo,
Jess

Same old same old!

Two people when they are alone izzit they will talk more or..
there is just nothing to say when there is another person??

Haha..I also not sure.
We are still the same.
Talking and crapping.
I'm glad we went out.

Just me!!

So today I really have the mood to call up everyone.
Well almost everyone.
Just asking how are them and their life.
Uh~ Miss it so much!!
Just like a small catch up time.

Rean is worry of money like asual.
Kimmy is abit sick but still doing good.
Mr.A is busy with assignment but still does know who I am.
Well, still is a mess with him. ><
Tou I did miss him much lately.

So jealous of Yang.
Having everything in hand.
I did ask him out for movie,well is he say he will go with me.
Cute guy,he have to get permit from his gf to go out wit his ex gf.
Haha. Jo said is a safe move.
Cause exs are dang dangerous!!
Hey,FYI I'm as innocient as an angel.
God,Bullshit much.
But I really only treat him as my best best guy friend.
Well,he is my first love and the guy who knew my well, as I can say.

Okay,my job! Yesh!
Mr Kim the big bos said that I'm good.
Dang! =)
I really love being good in my job.
Tou it might get bored later on.
But I know that there will be more thing for me to learn.
So I have keep moving forward!!
FYI~ A new guy in the office again!!
Well,shy but cute. Not so good look but friendly!
I'm guess Kelvin will be jealous till dead!!
Me only update with the new guy but not him!
:P Sorry Kev!! Is just work I guess..

Flash back!!
I'm not suppose to get addicted to work!!
Hello!! Study first!!
Hell ya,I havent even start my studies!
Dang! I just got news from Mr.A the final maybe at August!!
Well,congrats to me!! :(
Anyway,I planing to have all my saturday off.
So that I can have some time to do my studies.
Crossing finger if I do so!! Haha.

BTW if ever the final end before 16 I might get a chance to go to....
PARIS!!! OH MY GOD!!!
AND IS HALF PRICE!!!
Damn I'm really hoping I get this chance to go...
but the final date till now have to setle in yet..
That suck!!

Today,my sister went wild!!
Creating our own halloween!
With an apple and an orange!
Haha,is funny.With picture attched but will do update it soon.

So far this is it.
Night!

XOXO,
Jess

Pretty pretty pls!!!

Lately I feel to really have a guy beside me.
Well,do hope so badly.
Tou is not easy to find someone I want so is the other way.

*praying*
Pls be one tht is gd n i like fall from the sky!!
With same feeling!!
Thank u!!

J

Fun Fun Fun!!

Okay after I started working I really have no more life.
I really do miss my peeps and a lil thing call fun.
Working is fun with all the learn but,
I do miss the real fun that we use to have.
Desperately need more fun time!!

Lately

given time it does help me to lost abit of memory of him.
but who know today i met him.
after so long only one word we say, 'hie' .
but is happy enough knowing he gain bit of fats. haha.
the gf must have taken good care.
funny thing today i saw was,big boss of townoffice got a fine.
Mr Chew will a parking fine.

Well overall things still gone well.
Me having my first salary,
though is not much but still my first.
got to learn new stuff in office this week.
good also cause i started to think is bored.

Signing off,
Jess

Disappointed.Grateful.

Why is there people who can't just grow up??
Yes being small and innocent is good.
But as age catch up and the mature of the brain,
can't you just accept??
Don't understand why people act this way!!
Plus you are out,no longer in.
There are people who watch what are you doing,
so is what you did to your friend.
It was so shameful and childish with the act.
I really hope you will wake up one day.
Haix..

The final news I have got,but is not a happy one.

I tryin to build a wall,but is not very hard.

Cause the wall is growing itself too.

I believe as time goes it will fade away.

But is happy to know there is someone like this.

Someone who can make me feel that way again.

It was so long ago, I almost forget what is the feel

and how does it fill me up.

Thank you for painting my page in colour again!!

Sign off,
Jess

Many many feeling!!!

With all the small hand touch,

small talk,

small laugh,

it make me crazy.

Very insane with him.

o(>.<)o

Would I ever really do give up on him??

God know!!

So lately,I have been damn busy with work.
It make me miss my peeps so much!!
I really need my peeps!!
Miss you'll !!

I'm worry I will get carry away with working.
My mum ask me to keep in mind that,I will be leaving one day.
So never get carry away.
To me is not the pay but is the experience that I'm addicted.

So much feeling in a single page..
Haha..
Anyway,I will find a day to get all my peeps together.
So is a solutions for the workin n studyin part.

Jess

Thank GOD!!

o(>.<)o
Just when I wanna give up GOD give me a gift!!
He will be at the department for awhile more.
Cause aunty Alice having chicken pox,
so he will have to take over her place.

So here goes again,
but I guessing nothing going to change.
Cause still cold with me alots.
o(T.T)o

Jess

Giving up mood!!

Well too bad..
Today lunch never eat anything..
and also never get what I was hoping for..

Totally in the mood of giving up now.
Cause got shooting by him..
Always say I bully people and
don't new people a chance.
Is so not true!! Blek!

But is still nice to hear that people do call me as his.
Girlfriend,future wife and stuff.

It does make me have a short moment of happiness!

All the crap I'm saying now of giving up is

COMING TRUE!!

cause we will not have much chance to speak or meet anymore.

So is better think of things I have in hand than things is

OUT OF GRAB!!

Jess

Excited.Giving up soon.

I'm going to have lunch with him tomorrow!!

Gosh!! Damn excited!!

Well,kinda bug him into having lunch with me!!

But I'm still happy and glad to have it with him!!

o(^.^)o cant wait!!

Axiously waiting for tomorrow!!

Hope everything will be fine!!

But after wednesday,everything will be over.

At a snap of a finger,guessing I should do stop too.

With all the crazy thinkin and feeling I having.

Even though is fun to have feeling like this after so long time.

Really happy for this moment.

He help me changes alot,indirectly! ^^

Jess.

Puppy love all over again!!

It feel like having my puppy love all over again!!

With those crazy mesmerise eyes.

Cool style.

Secretive personality.

Cute smile.

I make me go all like spining around,

having a lot of butterfly in my tummy!

Gosh!! I'm so died meat!!

I can't stop this feeling but I have to..

Sad part!!

I think he have a girlfriend!!

Can I do something bad??

I wanna pray to god of all love!!

Make him fall in love with me!!!

Cause I'm falling fast!!

Like express!!

Please!! I'm begging!!

^^

So my type and taste!!

AHHHH!!!

Love bird,

Jess

Lil deep dark sercet of mine!!

I never one anyone to know about it.
It is really deep inside.

They became like this is cause of no change in him.
He is still him,and he will be the same forever in my postion. (mum said)
Is true. If you dont wish to change nothing can be done.

I think mum have enough d,since I was small they were going on with the same topic.
I'm this big,they no longer have to be together cause of us.
Only Sherlyn will be sad cause this happen when she was so young.
My mum said " I'm suffering."
I wanted to stop it,and the only way is to do so.

I dont know how to face my dad now.
Looking at him,I'm thinkin of other things that he have done.
He is a good father no denial, but not a good husband I guess.
He have promise but no promises have been hold.

My mum think is time to let go,put an end toward all.
She is not happy,so is my dad.

Tough is hard on me, but I have told myself I cant be selfish anymore.
They have done enough for us.
Is time for them to do something for themself.
Is their life.

Is happy that I really get to talk to Xi.
She really can make thing so much easy for me to accept.

Life have to go one.
The things still happening.
Yet I still have to put on a smile mask to face the world.

Sign off,
Jess

Depression!

So~ well~ today result is out.!
2 plan for me to go with.
My result have chosen da second one for me.
I'll be havin a year of holiday + work.
Parents got sad.
But they're being strong.

I'm sad but I cant really show it on my face.
Is just all inside!
Hearing friends going up adv,it's killin me softly.
When I got to know my result I went into depression
in da toi toi almost an hours.

I was all lost and blur.
I really hate myself for doing stuff like this.
Yeah,I know I have to live with it.
At least let me have time to be sad.

It was shock to hear from him.
At least he have da heart to care abit for me.
It make me all melt up and confuss.
Sudden it feel like that feel again.
But well I know it will fade away anytime.
We no longer have hope.

Sign off,
Jess

Surprise.Sad.Friends.

We got a surprise party for Ray!
Yeah! He did get surprise! Job well done!
So is a very happy-first-time-birthday with friend for Ray.
Still complaint we always forget his birthday. Hee-hee.

This morning I get all sad cause of..
my elder sis clean my fish pond yesterday then
she catch my fish out.
Due to this my fish all went to heaven.
My fishy so long with me just go like this.
She still dont have the guilty feel after being a murder!!
So just now I go get new fish.
16 new one! Hee Hee.

Though we dont talk much about thing anymore.
You will still be my BFF!!
Things that you dont wanna tell me is okay,
cause I still will find you and talk about my life with you.
I still wanna have you part of my life friend.

Sign off,
Jess

Happy.Stressless.Best.

When to pavillion again yesterday.

Only us,

one ice cream,

one movie,

and a long walk.

Is not a date but there is just us.

Got very happy.

Feel so no stress just laugh,talk and walk.

Wonderful Sunday

Today have been in Pavillion for..

hmm...let me count.

Oh,6hours~! yeap 6 whole hours!!!

My leggie also numb n soar!

But I have fun with babe~!

Lexy spend up to almost RM 350 today.

I spend almost RM 100! ^^

I got a new pair of shoes~!!

YEAH~!

My Plans for my studies!

So I have some plan for myself.

- Yes to Advance Diploma -
If everything is sailing smoothly I get to go.

-No to Advance Diploma -
If this happen I'll have to get a job.
Resit my paper.
Wait for a year an da half.

So this is the big plan for now!

Best of luck to me on the 19th!!

Signing off,
Jess

Waterless

Haix. Yesh,haix again.

Holiday d still bored cause never get to go out.
Baby Serena went pi pu pi pu d.
So have to stay home till she come back out.

Plus today the whole house area no water.
Argh~ morning morning wake up said no water.
I haven wash up lor. T^T
Gotta save water for others to use.

Whole morning all I can do is,
sitting infornt of my lovely lappy.
Watch drama. Download music and movie. FB.

My holiday and life is such a waste in this way!

Signing off
Jess

Don't wanna understand anymore.

No point askin anymore.

Is jst so hard to understand human at all.

Lazy to go understand anymore.

Since there is no point for me to do so.

Good luck to u.

Stop it~!

I cant take it anymore and any longer. Does she ever think of other beside herself?? She is a pain in the ass, only know how to treat people like slave! I have try to forgive and forget, I have try to open my heart to accept who she is, but there will be a limit for everybody. Too long ago stuff I have forget but since that day of handing in assignment and the following ones I have try to let it go. As I know myself, I will not be angry at something or hold on to something for long, not to be a bragger,I consider myself as easy to forgive and forget person. But this fellow is getting on my nerve!! Screaming at me infornt of the office like I'm some kind of thief,treating me like a maid and still have to show her a happy face when doing stuff for her. WTF! Who the hell you're,I hardly even do my stuff. Cause a friend so I will try to help but at least you need to have grateful heart not I alone having this problem.

She always think so highly of herself till she is like a queen but actually she is kinda bitchy! No one going to brag about they are no long a virgin, making it so obvious that she is no longer one. If you wanna have sex just go ahead with it dont have to tell the whole world. Never even think twice what she said is what she doing,like this afternoon. People having a joking time so what you can just shut up and do yours,when you joking like a crazy women is okay but other is bothering you. Bloody hell~!

I know is not very good scold people in here,but I have enough d. I going to brust soon if I dont tell out!
This person really is a royal pain~!

Sign off,
Jess

My day in da funhouse!

Only started to study for a day and play for the next few days,
I'm droping into a very deep dark hole.
Being in da place and with her around,it was like a funhouse.
24/7 non stop fun~!
The star of da house gotta share the spotlight with others now,
Mr Jordon got so jealous after Tootsy arrived.
But after a day they got along,
da family still thinking on to keep her anot.
It is a hard call if it is me. Both cute and adorable.

God bless them,for all I can say.

Learn alot of hers during the stay.
Listen alot of hers during the stay.
Not much talk of hers during the stay.

Sign off,
Jess

Life in April

Have been studying and playing without day and night..
My body also goin' to mad d.
Having my breakfast at 3pm,dinner at 10 pm.
Really going to be fat d.

Lately got strain away,
from almost everything.
Hardly talk or contact.
Not sure what will happen but things still go on without stop,
So do I.

Need a break from everything,
wish I can stop the universal for just a moment.

Sign off,
Jess

Bury under a whole lots of things.

Got bury under a whole lots of things.
Assignment.Test.Presentation.
Tomorrow will be my last one and the most stress one.
Having a presentation alone first time.
Having lots of pressure on da shoulder now.

My classmate are so good in talking and presentation.
I will not give up so fast,still will try my best.
What happen tomorrow it is meant to happen.

Today,haix. Yes,I cry.
Hanson have me chase out of the class by William.
But is okay,he did said sorry.
My crying was not all about that.
Just that maybe too many things I pressure in my heart.
This was just a trigger of it.

So much better after crying,nothing matter anymore.
Forgive and forget,I'm damn good in it.
Got praise before lei. ^^

To Joyee,everything will be fine.
Don't worry ya!

To my friend.
Jia you in presentation and final.

Sign off,
Jess

Heartbroken

Lately been extremely down,due to lotsa of reason.
Reason that I may not say cause it will be stupid in the end.
Baby hui ask me don't always so moody.
I hope not to too.
Is myself and people beside me.

It is just sad,
I'm just invisible to them,I am there but just not there.
What the hell,I still going on with it like that with all the fakeness with me.
I hate putting on something that is not real for me.
I'm in a negative mood now,though is not all bad today.
Did at least get some jokes and play from the guys.

Is having friends this tiring?
You care too much,and in return you get your heartbreak.
You care less,you worry that in return that is what you will be getting.
It is a tough world around here.

Maybe,sometime i should just protect my heart more,
rather than keep breaking it.

Just plain sad me,
Jess

Put the blame on me~!

Being very down lately though of not showing it,

it still seem to crawl back into some part my heart.

Letting it go but seem I think too much.

Myself is the master mind of all this.

So blame on others but me~!

Is this right?

Long Long Post

I gotta a feeling this will be a long post,but I still will post it.haha,you have the choice to read or just skip.

Sunday I have sushi @ funa zushi. 15 of us,and one of them is a brother (in term of buddha hood,we call someone.) he gave a small session of dhama,is about suffering. As every buddhist will learn that coming to earth we have two important feeling,happy,suffer. The world can be a very happy place so a place that have suffering. Every human in this world will have this feel no matter what religion are you. This topic got me thinking alot,a new way to see things.

We suffer is all cause of our mind,the mind is a magician.Can change everything and do alot of thing.The mind is wonderful thing if we use it in the right way. Brother have taught us how to reduce the suffering with some method,I'm still working on it.haha.

A few thing that hit me is,he told us we have to take charge of our life (something that I cant do),
don't be scare of being alone,being alone is a good thing but not loneliness (something that I cant even dare to do),smile and be happy cause I'm still here breathing everyday (something I have forget),never wait to do thing later,but start doing it now no one will know when is our last day (something I never dare to do again), be brave in life embrace everything (something that I'm too chicken to do so).

Now I only get to know that is so many thing that I am not doing,I find my life that I have live was meaningless. Nothing have been done,just the selfish me and me~!

This all have to change cause I only have this time to live.I will and wanna live to the fullness and have a different view of life,the beautiful side of it. Be positive and the world will be beautiful and life will be beautiful.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got my result today,so I put on my new feeling.
I'm satisfy with my result and I'm grateful to you-know-who have help me alot.
No sadness,but just accept it with open heart.
Will try again next time.
3 more strikes to go.I will try to do so.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life.Love.Light.

Sign off,
Jess

Lotsa Lotsa~

Lately like lotsa of thing happen.
With family mostly,lucky never plus friends.haha.
Is all sad stuff that I dont wish to say anymore,wait till I'm in the mood.
Studies also is in deep shit.
Lotsa of stoppage,have to get over it to get to the other side.
I just have to be a lil hardworking I guess, ^^

Lately I think,is I think I like grow up d.
Lotsa of stuff is seen in a different way,no longer the small lil girl anymore.
Know lotsa of stuff and how to handle things.
A small part of me don't wish to grow up.
I still wish to be a lil girl that have no trouble,just pure fun all the time.
Always will hope to be mummy and daddy lil girl.
Imma badly pamper girl by almost everyone.
Don't hate me cause you aint me. ^^
Love ya all.

Sign off,
Jess

Grateful.Happy.Thank you.Love ya.

I was so touch by my college buddy,most of the friends I know will not have do what they have done to me. They really are the best,they always supporting me when I need them. Today,(actually is yesterday) my house have a party so I invited kim,ray,xi,atok,alan,ll,adonis,chia,cy,tze yang. So most of them came down from KL to just attend the party. Is like O.M.G,so nice of them. muackz muackz muackz~! For last time my friend hardly will come over,they will have to wait for friends and must have friends only will come over and always end up not coming. -.-' but this time is so different everyone I called turn up so I have fun at the party,I hope you guys have fun too. ^^

Once again,thank you~!

Love ya.
Jess

No music No life~

Music is my soul, my everything.
With a little imagination I can be anywhere I want to,
what to feel,what to think.

Abit of history of mine.
Last time means roughly when I was young,music was just background sound.
As I grow up my first love band was westlife.
I fell in love with every single song of their.
Everyday without fail,
I will plug in my walkman later become discman during my homework time.
Slow I started to notice the new song that was play at the radio,
eventually I fell in love with the radio.
Stuck to the radio 24/7
It was scary,my mum even have to keep up the radio to make me go to sleep.
Then I got my MP3 from my parents when I was 17.
Grab music everywhere,and it became I cant live without my MP3.
Till last year,it was time for my MP3 to move on.
Then my parents got me an Ipod. Whoo~ so happy.
As for now,music have become a part of me.Same goes with my Ipod and handphone.

Music is a very powerful things.
It conquer the world,everyone brain and life.

Music lover,
Jess

First step

Everything have it's first step...
Everyone will have to take the first step...

I took the first step of making people,

misunderstand me,

hate me,

love me,

angry,

cry,

manipulate,

happy,

feeling like a bitch.

I took the first step to
do new things,
do crazy and insane stuff,
change myself,
admin my flaw,
talk to someone first,
saying sorry to someone,
tell someone I Love You from the bottom of my heart,
told someone you are my best friend,
told someone you are all I ever needed,
comfort my friends and sis,
making my friend feel important when they feel not needed,
push my friend and sis to take their first step.

Every first step we have open up the world to us,

every first step is a lesson to be learn,

not always good and not always bad.

All it take is courage to have the first step.

To my dear Xi,
sometime we have to take this first step to get things right,
though there is no wrong in us.
There is always someone with the first step.

Being bold,
Jess

P/S: Whatever happen will past and new days come with a new start.What happen in the past have to be forgiven and I ask for forgiveness,cause I'm not perfect~! I have my flaw~

Hetic day

So everything have gone back to normal and everything have started engine.
My classes started at 10am today,got back from klang at 9.30am.
Unload everything and run to campus to have my class.Haha.
Till Mr.Wee class my eye so heavy,half open half close and my mind is wondering around.
Luck thing I still can answer some of he's questions.haha.
So after lecture came home,doing ah sei again.
Help sis clean up the house,toilet and blah blah.
I have a very short but nice nap,then is dinner time.
I wanted to go back to klang to have dinner with xi's family but jie don't give so end up going Jusco to have KFC,shopping for some food.
So later planning is going to bed early,during CNY sleep too early my face is ugly have to get back my old face~!

Sleepy.Tired.
Jess

Unexpected

Ish~ my sunday is not that lovey dovey at all.
This afternoon got a guy come along making my day into a suck one.
Asking me and trying to ruin my name.
I was shock and got worry.
*embarrass* I got cold feet and hand.
He scare me gau gau~!
Lucky I got help,things got okay after but I just worry one more thing.
I just wonder how will she going to face me after all this happen??

P/S: All the crazy sexually people dont mess me~!

Angry.Anxious.Scare.
Jess

Lovey dovey sunday

Things happen and pass,there is anger,sadness,pain,heartbroken.
Thing just got out of hand,due to all the flaw we have.
Everything will end well,it did.
Should not gone into a fight that have not even exist yet.
Is lame,I know. Haha.

Thank you,to you-know-who-you-are for your time.
Really happy and unexpected after so long,you still will listen to me.
=3

Since things got well,so is my sunday.
Woke up,got a family breakfast and got around town to old folk home and orphanage.
Later going to JJ,getting some stuff (not sure what yet). Haha.

Good day,mate~!

Still in the ocean of confuse~

Lovey dovey,
Jess

Just by the thought..

Just by the thought..

I have to go back to campus,it make me feel home sick.

Is weird everytime I come back I will not want to go back KL.

I really miss being at home,maybe cause I got pamper well.

Another day pass,just got back from my uncle party.

Lotsa of party lately. =3

Just by the thought make me confuse,

Something that bother me,

I'm not sure what is going on there,

trying to get thing right.

Will I fall into it again?

Insane.Mad.Crazy.Misses.Confuse.

Jess